Garbage In/Garbage Out

By Elizabeth Bales and Ann-Kathrin Kniggendorf

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       W A R N I N G
       rated   R   for
       adult content
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Warning! This post is the product of two filthy minds. (But we're
funny. -EB)
If this sort of content offends you, read no further.
 
The outtakes I wrote were, um, inspired by some wild sound files that
wander the Net -- especially by a couple of particularly filthy ones
that rolled off the tongue of Doug Preis, aka Goose. I don't know
what Ann's excuse is. -EB
 
I need no excuse! -AKK
 
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E. Bales: Outtakes we'd like to see
 
 
Walsh: Can't I trust you to complete a simple assignment?  We had a
whole
security squad waiting at Longshot all afternoon!
Zach: Sir! F*ck you very much, sir!
 
Niko: Shane, could you like a girl like Maya?
Goose: Nahh... but I'd like to screw you to the deckplates. How about
it?
 
Maya: Goose, you're so witty.
Goose: Does that mean I can expect a blow job at the next rest stop?
 
Walsh: You've got 24 hours before I call in the Space Navy.
Niko: I have to wait 24 hours?
 
Waldo: Zero gee just isn't natural!
Zozo: Yeah, then how come there's so much of it?
<push>
Waldo: Aahh! Unhand me, you little Kiwi sh*t!
 
Niko: What are you?
Scarecrow: I am as beyond you as you are of the insects!
Niko: You're Barney?
 
Goose: We'll have to jam-sync the hypershunts!
Doc: Ooh, I love it when you talk like that!
 
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A. Kniggendorf: 101 positions not allowed in an Explorer
 
 
No, sir. I will not explain why I missed the Crown destroyer on the
mainscreen.
 
I assure, that are *not* fingerprints on the compscreen. -- Toeprints? I
wore boots, sir!
 
Sorry, I didn't have the handcuffs ready. -- My hands? Well, they
weren't
free, either.
 
No, the second seat wasn't occupied at that moment.
 
We immobilized a slaverlord? -- Ah yes, we were in need of a fresh
sheet.
 
Uhm... My back was towards the front screen. Why? There was an urgent
repair. -- During a flight?! -- It was my pleasure, sir.
 
Ranger Niko, why didn't you notice?! -- Ranger Gooseman's not
transparent,
sir.
 
Then how come the board cannons were fired?! -- That was a mistake. -- A
mistake?! You saved Earth! -- I grabbed the wrong joystick.
 
How do you consider your mission? -- Satisfactory, sir.
 
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