I am going to direct this column toward the second most important relationship we have in our lives. That of the relationship between a man and wife.

Scripture says, "Husbands, love your wives" (Ephesians 5:25). "So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies" (Ephesians 5:28). "And let the wife see that she respects her husband" (Ephesians 5:33). Also "they admonish the young women to love their husbands" (Titus 2:4).

First let me point out that the Greek word translated love in these passages is the word agape. The very best definition for this Greek word, that is the down to earth, where the rubber meets the road, definition goes like this, "I will do the very best for the one I love regardless of the cost to myself."

The husband and the wife are to agape love one another in this way.

How does this work itself out in everyday life?

It means thinking about the other person more than about me. It means doing those things my spouse needs done to show, to prove, my love. In my way of thinking, above all, it means being considerate of the other person, treating the other with dignity and respect.

I hear women talking to their neighbor in public about their husbands, in ways that are not considerate of his feelings, making public record of mistakes, errors, and idiosyncracies. Some go even deeper than propriety would allow me to get in this public forum.

This is not loving her husband or respecting her husband. Holding him up to public ridicule in this manner may not seem to affect him, but it does. Believe it or not, men do have feelings and can feel things as deeply as a woman. The only difference is he has been carefully taught to hide those feelings.

Now, ladies, I will also say that men are just as guilty of tearing down their wives in public as the women are. I have heard men talking about their lazy wives, about their spending habits, about their emotional state, and other delicate subjects.

This is not loving his wife or respecting her as a person, a valuable person. These things really hurt a woman and undermines her self-esteem, self-confidence, even her value as a person in her own eyes.

The second most important relationship in our lives is the relationship we have with our spouse. There are many things we can do to strengthen this relationship. But none of it will be of any value if we are holding that one person up to public ridicule.

I close with this passage from the Proverbs, "Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace; When he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive" (Proverbs 17:28)

Let’s not tear down what we should be building up.