How does ridicule make you feel? When anyone says things about who or what you are, does it make you feel bad? Even when it is done in a "kidding" way?

There are things about us over which we have little to no control: physical characteristics, such as our noses, eyes, feet, and freckles; characteristics such as stuttering, hyperactivity, and various conditions with outward manifestations like epilepsy; and certain characteristics which we inherit because of the person God made us to be.

Many times we ridicule a person because of one of these things over which they have no control. To ridicule a woman because of PMS is ridiculing her because she is a woman. There have been times when a man and wife were watching television and a scene with some violence or aggression was being portrayed and the wife made a comment about it being some kind of testosterone thing. This might have hurt because this powerful hormone is what makes him a man. "Oh, my husband laughed at that." But that does not mean that it didn’t hurt.

God created the male to be the hunter, aggressor, and provider. He is the conqueror. Because God created him a man, the things he does are challenges to be conquered. This includes his job, the chores around the house, and going somewhere.

Here is a familiar scenario, husband and wife or a boy and girl friend, are going to the mall in Fort Collins. Now, as luck would have it, he makes a wrong turn and is temporarily confused as to where he is. In classic Tim, The Tool Man, Taylor fashion he is reluctant to ask directions because he is wired, by God, to conquer the trip. Typically, the wife begins to chide him about not asking. In a shrewish voice she says, "Why don’t you pull over and ask somebody? You’re so stubborn. We’ll never get to the mall this way." What he hears is that she does not like his being a man.

My question is this: which is more important to you, getting to the mall or being with the person you love? Only you can answer this question. But, if it is getting to the mall, perhaps you married or are trying to have a relationship with the wrong person.

I have not addressed the issue of his thoughtlessness in not asking. But, there are two ways to approach any situation: In a shrewish, selfish manner or in a loving, giving manner. Which one would promote a healthy relationship?

Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men (people). (Titus 3:1-2 NIV)

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. (James 3:17 NIV)

Of course, with modern technology such as GM’s On Star, this problem might be a thing of the past. But the principle remains, deal with the one you love with peace, love, consideration, and humility.