One of the many books I have been reading dealing with the subject of relationships starts out with the relevant individual. Not the partner and not the situation, but the individual. In this book the first thing that the seminar leader asked about was what the individuals liked about themselves.

There is one thing that is not approached directly in Scripture but alluded to many times, liking ourselves. In Scripture we have the greatest commandments.

Jesus said to him, " 'You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.' {38} "This is the first and great commandment. {39} "And the second is like it: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' Matthew 22:37 (NKJV)

Notice that Jesus says to love your neighbor as you love yourself. What is assumed is that we love ourselves.

Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content. Philippians 4:11-13 (NKJV)

Paul is talking about being content under the conditions of life he has endured, and yet we cannot be content unless we are content with who we are.

And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content. 1 Timothy 6:8 (NKJV)

Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." Hebrews 13:5 (NKJV)

If we are content with who we are, who God created us to be, we can learn, like Paul, to be content in any circumstance of life. If we are unhappy with who we are, we cannot be truly happy under any condition and those relationships we hope will make us happy will disappoint us.

The seminar leader asked a group of ladies what they liked about being a woman. The list that was generated is quite revealing. Let me share just a few of those things they liked about being a woman.

"Expressing emotions."

"Wearing beautiful clothes."

"Being able to wear any color I chose."

"Being creative."

"Being loved by a man."

"Being pregnant…and being a mother."

"Ball gowns."

"Makeup."

"Women friends."

"Shoes."

I have edited the list because of the public venue in which I am writing, however, looking at the partial list I see many things that are likable about being a woman. God created a woman to be different from a man. She is smaller, softer, gentler, tender, nurturing and so on. A great deal to make a person glad to be a woman.

I have never seen a list of things that men like about being a man, I’m sure there are many reasons for a person to be glad they are a man.

My point is this, God created us to be the person we are. If we do not like ourselves, how can we expect others to like us? If we are not happy in ourselves, we cannot expect another person to make us happy. If we expect someone else to make us happy, we will become manipulative, demanding, controlling, and scheming. This would not be conducive to happiness for ourselves or others.

Learn to be content with the person God created you to be.