I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. (Psalms 139:14 NKJV).

My research has shown some very interesting things about living in this world. These things are not from a single source, but from most of the sources I have studied.

When a child is conceived, boys and girls begin life on an equal footing. In the brain of the early child there are literally millions of connections between the right lobe and the left. After a few weeks the boy’s body becomes awash in the very powerful hormone, called testosterone, that makes him a man. Testosterone destroys many of the connections between the two lobes. Therefore, there is only a very small number of connections between the two lobes in the brain of the boy.

One lobe of the brain is the center for tasks, manual skills, hand eye coordination, and reasoning skills. The other lobe is the center for speech and emotions. The boy is normally active in the lobe for tasks, manual skills, hand eye coordination, and reasoning. For a boy to move from this lobe to the speech and emotion lobe he has few connections and so it takes time for the transition.

This condition of the male’s brain, the few connections between the right and left lobes of the brain, makes him single minded. A man has the ability to direct his attention and energies in a single direction, often to the exclusion of everything else. This single mindedness is one thing that women like about men and one of the things that drive women crazy.

The many connections in the female’s brain allow her to move quickly between her lobes and allow her to be a multitasker. Many women are able to talk on the phone, prepare a meal, watch the kids, and keep track of what’s going on in her favorite soap opera. The connections between the lobes also allow her to shift from being task oriented to a relationship orientation quickly or even be in both modes simultaneously.

As one author put it, the woman has an eight-lane superhighway between her right and left lobes where a man has a single lane gravel road, or may be nothing more than a cow path, (my addition).

This is the physical reason for several male characteristics: The relatively few words a man uses in a day; the relatively few times he expresses his feelings; and what seems to be a lack of emotion (or feelings) in the guy.

Because the male is generally in the task lobe of his brain, he will express himself in actions. He will even express his love by doing things. Which is one reason why a man will not express his love in words as often as his woman would like. His fixing the washing machine, changing the oil in her car, working 40 plus hours a week to bring home the pay check is his way of expressing his love.

Because a woman has easy access to her emotional and speech lobe, she will express herself in words. She generally gives and receives love through words. Which is one reason a woman wants to hear, "I love you" many times. She does not perceive his actions as an expression of love.

Knowing all this, its a wonder that men and women relate at all. But, if we learn something about our significant other, and strive to fill their love bank with what they consider valid currency. We can have meaningful relationships. Guys have to learn to express their feelings in words and receive love in words. Gals have to learn to express their feelings in actions and to receive love in the same way.

It is not easy. But the rewards are worth it.

In a future article I will talk about the socialization differences between boys and girls.