Let’s talk to guys. For the past several decades, the media in concert with the feminists’ movement has made being a man nothing less than an embarrassment. If we tried to be chivalrous and do such things as open a door for a woman we were leaped upon with great vigor for being a man, a chauvinist pig, etc., etc. In the media, a man was portrayed as a clown, buffoon, inept, looser, and generally a disgrace to the race.

Very much like those of us who served in Vietnam, we men felt like slinking around in some kind of disguise because we thought the world hated us for who we were. We were told that we were unnecessary. That the world would be better off without us. That we were somehow bad.

However, today, psychologists, and child development experts all agree that the father image and the mother image are both essential to the development of healthy, well-adjusted children. Although these experts have done the exercises and crunched the numbers, this truth is presently being ignored by the feminist movement, Governmental Social Service Organizations, and the courts. But, fathers are essential in the rearing of both sons and daughters. Without both images, in a healthy loving family environment, the children will have a lopsided idea of relationships and their roll in a healthy society.

And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4 NKJV)

. . .As you know how we exhorted, and comforted, and charged every one of you, as a father does his own children, (1 Thessalonians 2:11 NKJV)

Every husband/father has a weapon with which he faces the world. Gary Smalley calls this one the silver sword. With this silver sword a man can build industries, cities, states, and nations. He can also destroy industries, cities, states, and nations. He is taught to weld this sword skillfully. It is the sword of position, persuasion, authority, and power. The knight with the silver sword goes forth and slays the dragon.

Every husband/father has another sword which very often is in its scabbard hanging over the fireplace mantel dusty and ignored by its owner. Gary Smalley tells us this is the gold sword. This sword is used to build relationships and families. How does this sword differ from the silver one? Let me illustrate: This is a true story. A little girl stands in the doorway as her father prepares to go to work. His is a police officer, working the night shift in the troubled part of town. The neighbor kids have told the girl about police officers who never come home, and she is terrified that her daddy will go and not come back. He could use his silver sword, pat her on the head, get in his squad car and go to work. OR, knowing she is scared, he could use his golden sword. He picks her up, hugs her and then sits down in a big overstuffed chair and reads her a story. She always requests the same story, about a happy puppy that one day gets lost. When her daddy gets to the place where the puppy is lost and scared, she begins to cry. This is when her daddy turns to the back of the book and shows her that everything works out OK, the puppy arrives home to its loving family. Reassured, the little girl can sleep that night as her daddy patrols the streets of their city.

The little girl is now in her late 40's and remembers fondly how her father gently reassured her every time he went to work. The golden sword is tenderness, gentleness, loving, and attentive. Truly knowing the individuals in your family and giving them the loving touches, reassurances, encouragements, attention, and yourself.

I hear things like "a man has to get in touch with his feminine side." A man does not have a feminine side, he has his own tender, gentle, and loving side, but it is decidedly masculine. Guys don’t be afraid of it. The golden sword is as much yours as is the silver sword.