Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, Than in a house shared with a contentious woman. (Proverbs 21:9
NKJV)
Better to dwell in the wilderness, Than with a contentious and angry woman. (Proverbs 21:19 NKJV)
I find myself drawn to the book, Men Made Easy, by Kara Oh, because it is so practical and easy reading.
In this book she talks about Feminine Grace. She also talks about
the other side of the coin, a behavior she calls UGLY. What is UGLY behavior? Well, we have a clue in the two
verses from the book of Proverbs just above, contentious and angry behavior.
What is this UGLY behavior? Kara begins this section with this, "Give me some
examples of when you’re the opposite, the antithesis of Feminine Grace." "When I complain." one woman said as she covered her face in embarrassment. Another offered,
"When I’m bossy, or disrespectful of others." and still another added, "When I’m feeling insecure or self-conscious.
I feel helpless when I’m that way."
Kara says, "Those are good examples. My grandmother used to call it being ‘UGLY.’ It’s
a great term when your behavior is unattractive. It’s a strong word that gets the point across. So, if you catch yourself
being ‘UGLY,’ look for ways to be more beautiful, poised, and graceful. You’ll find it a revealing
process. And who wouldn’t rather be beautiful than UGLY?"
"If you want more love, affection, romance, appreciation, and companionship, you’ve
got to do your part. The most effective way you can do that––which, coincidentally, will give you even more than
you’ve been asking for––is to love being a woman and express yourself with the beauty of Feminine Grace."
Feminine Grace includes
a strong sense of personal power, without which women don’t know how to get what they want from the men they love. Ironically,
most men say they get a lot of pleasure out of making their partners happy. It gives them the satisfaction of a job well done.
Those same men say they can’t win with a woman who complains, belittles, and manipulates. That kind of behavior––which
stems from insecurity or insensitivity––disappears as a woman develops self-love. Truly beautiful women love themselves
and are comfortable with who they are.
Does Feminine Grace mean that you can’t disagree with your partner? Does it mean you must always give into the demands
of others? Absolutely not. But, what it does mean that you should be expressing yourself in a manner consistent with Feminine Grace. Look back at the Key to Life article on the rules for a
good and fair fight. You can express yourself directly and forcefully without tearing the other individual down, being contentious,
disrespectful, mean, or manipulative.
