To know wisdom and instruction, To perceive the words of understanding, To receive the instruction of wisdom, Justice, judgment, and equity; To give prudence to the simple, To the young man knowledge and discretion; A wise man will hear and increase learning, And a man of understanding will attain wise counsel, To understand a proverb and an enigma, The words of the wise and their riddles. (Proverbs 1:2-6)

Understanding is a fountain of life to him who has it (Proverbs 16:22).

"You talk too much." These words can be found on the lips of many husbands/boy friends concerning their wives/girl friends. If not spoken out loud, at in least thought.

"Why don’t you listen to me?" "You never talk to me." These words can be found on the lips of many wives/girl friends concerning their husbands/boy friends. If not spoken out loud, at least in thought.

The real problem is that men and women communicate differently.

These are some of Dr Gary Smalley’s comments concerning means of communications, from It Takes Two to Tango by Gary and Norma Smalley.

"If you truly expect to have meaningful communication with your husband, you have to activate the right side of his brain so he can understand your feelings. One of the best ways to do this is with a word picture." "If a husband can overlook the actual words his wife uses to express herself and instead actively pursue what she means, fewer arguments will take place."

Here are several suggestions which come from "the experts."

Ladies, men’s communications are normally meant to send and receive information. They are generally interest in the bottom line. If you want to communicate with your man, eliminate the non-essential details. For instance, If you would like your partner to paint the garage, you might say, "The garage is looking shabby, we really need to paint it. When do you think we could do that?" Short, sweet, and to the point. The request, reason, and a request for feedback. Many women would have talked on for no less than fifteen minutes, going into great detail, before getting to the point of painting the garage. The way to communicate with a man is direct, informative, and with less detail. If he needs more detail, he will ask for it.

Guys, women’s communications is normally to connect, to share part of themselves. They are generally detail oriented. If you want to please your lady, talk to her in word pictures, giving details if you can. For instance, if you want to share the fact that you are feeling joyful, you might say something like, "I feel exceptionally good today. Its like the time I made the winning touch down in my senior year in High School. I was the hero of the day. That’s the way I feel. I am enjoying your company, this beautiful sunshine, and this cool breeze." Which would be a whole lot better than, "I feel good."

Guys, another thing about communications with your lady. Remember she is talking to connect. Connecting is important, she wants the two of you to share yourselves with each other. Be patient, loving, kind, and receptive. Really listen to her. Strive to understand what she is trying to communicate to you, information? Emotions? Feelings? Needs? Love? Pain? Your striving to understand what she is trying to tell you will be rewarded.

I know that many of these articles are dealing with communications, but communications is the life blood of any relationship. We have to connect with each other to strengthen our relationship.

I know that I have said this repeatedly, but it is so important that I have to say it again, "listen to one another with patience, love, acceptance, and affirmation. Make the atmosphere safe for the other person to share themselves.