This is a subject that I have avoided but really must be addressed. Sex in marriage. The Bible has much to say about sex, when it is acceptable, where it is acceptable, with whom it is acceptable. Talk about safe sex, the Bible gives us the best advice for safe, satisfying and enriching sexual expression.

Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. (1 Corinthians 7:2-5 KJV)

This passage is very plain. Both the husband and the wife have a responsibility to the other to give to the other sexual satisfaction. Actually because of the part that says, "Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence (Affection): and likewise also the wife unto the husband," this is really making love. Please notice the part that says, "Defraud ye not one the other," the word defraud means cheat, deceive, betray, fool, rob. In the arena of sexual love, we are not to refuse the legitimate needs of the other simply because its inconvenient, messy, boring, or what ever other excuse you might come up with. "Oh, dear, please not tonight, I have a head ache."

Let me be as blunt as possible. When your spouse comes over to start loving you up and you refuse to engage in the activity, your spouse will feel rejected, regardless of how much you try to soften the refusal, the spouse will feel rejected. Rejection today, rejection tomorrow, and the next day, and then resentment, anger and revenge becomes the dominant feeling in the rejected spouse.

One of the experts says that there are only two reasons to refuse your partner the sexual love they need, physical problems which make sex impossible or very painful, and being angry at your spouse. If angry, then you had better resolve the issue before going to sleep.

One night your loving spouse comes over and it is obvious that he is hoping for a little sexual romp between the sheets and the wife just does not feel turned on, which scenario would you rather experience yourself: "Get away from me. All you ever think of is sex." "Oh, dear, please not tonight, (what ever excuse)." "Ok, sweetheart, I’m not going to get there tonight, but here I am, a gift to you." OR "Ok, big boy, tonight is just for you, lets see what you’ve got."

Looking back at the passage from 1 Corinthians 7:2 - 5, it is also easy to see that both the husband and the wife have the right to expect their spouse to engage in sexual love when they are in need. Which means, if your spouse needs your loving, to refuse is robbery, fraud, and possibly the very epitome of selfishness.. I am talking to both men and women. God intended our sexual love to be the highlight of physical pleasure, emotional intimacy, and (Believe it or not) a spiritual connection between husband and wife.

This is for those young people who are wound up concerning sex. If you and your love wait for marriage, there will come a time of wonderful discovery, excitement, guiltless pleasure and no STD’s. No STD’s. This is the only 100%, sure fire, safe sex. Everything else is something less than 100%. Just remember, the most precious gift you can give your future spouse is a pure, brand new, unused you.