As I began to write this Key to Life artice I thought of a second way to put my thoughts, this is why there are two KTL # 35's, KTL # 35 - 1, and KTL # 35 - 2.

Key to Life

In the last article I presented, I drew my remarks from Titus 2:4 -5, "that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed."

I pointed out that the word translated love in our English Bibles is the Greek word phileo, which has as part of its meaning friendship. And so, what the Apostle Paul is saying, the wife ought to be her husband’s friend.

A few days ago, I came into the house when my wife was on the phone talking to a woman we have known for 40 years or so. And my wife was laughing and seemingly thoroughly enjoying her conversation with her friend. She commented as I came in that she was talking to her best friend.

That really struck me, because I don’t have a friend like that.

Most women are comfortable sharing themselves with another woman, her friend, her sister, her mother. And they share their tears, fears, joys, plans, future hopes, feelings, themselves, they share themselves with this other person.

But men are not wired to share themselves easily. A man will not bother other people with his feelings, fears, hopes, and dreams, it’s just not the way we have been created. But there is a great need within the man to share with someone, who he is, those feelings, fears, hopes, and dreams. A guy needs to connect with someone on that deep, intimate level. That someone should be the one that God says should be his best friend.

However, more often than not, this one person is more interested in herself than she is in her husband. She really doesn’t want to hear what he has to say. She, perhaps, unconsciously, disregards what he says, or shuts him down in a mirid of ways. She ridicules what he says, makes fun of his dreams, has no regard for his feelings, and dismisses his hopes.

As one man put it:

1. When his wife wants to go do something with her friends, she says he should trust her and allow her that freedom. When he feels that he needs some time alone or buddy time, she says that he doesn’t love her or want to spend time with her - even when she’s invited! It’s all about her feelings - not his.

2. When she spends money, it’s OK because it’s something she "needed," and she should have the freedom to spend money when she wants to buy something. When he wants to spend money, she calls him irresponsible. It’s all about her feelings - not his.

3. They see her family about twice a week. When he wants to see his family, she complains that he’s not being sensitive to her feelings about her family. It’s all about her feelings - not his.

4. Basically it’s her priorities that matter. She’ll have the whole week end planned, while he’d love to have some down time together. She’ll say that he’s not supporting her. It’s all about her feelings - not his.

5. He has told her what his plans are for the week end. But then she decides that she has something else she wants them to do. His plans are disregarded. It’s all about her feelings - not his.

So many husbands would probably say, "I wish I had a friend to share myself with."

Ladies, your husband is, if he is like so many, a very lonely person.