Last time I brought up Appreciation and this time I will spend time on Affirmation.

Affirmation is kin to appreciation because both are the recognition of another’s efforts.

He said to them, "But who do you say that I am?" Simon Peter answered and said, "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God." Jesus answered and said to him, "Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jonah, for flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but My Father who is in heaven. (Matthew 16:15-17 NKJV)

Mothers are good at affirmation. Refrigerators are loaded with the efforts of their children. I remember, when I was in grade school, I made a thing of ceramic clay. As I remember it, it was horrible, I had notched it for an ash tray and I painted it bright red. My mom kept that thing on a shelf for many years. Like the ash tray and the many childish pictures, when we tell the one who did it they did good we affirm several things; one, that they are valuable to us, two, that we do appreciate what they had tried to do, three, we affirm that they should never stop doing these kind of things.

But it is not just children that need affirmation.

A man was constantly being nagged by his wife to help out around the house and so he tried to do the dishes. I’m not sure when this took place, but the family did not have a dish washing machine. He says that the first time he washed the dishes, he would wash dishes until the dish drainer was full, then he would dry those dishes and put them away and then he would wash another drainer full, dry the dishes and put them away. His wife complained because drying the dishes with the dish cloth spread germs. So the next night he washed a drainer full of dishes and then went and did something else, clean the bath tube, to allow the dishes to air dry. Then he put those dishes away and washed more. His wife complained that he was taking too much time to do the dishes. So the next time he washed all the dishes and stacked the drainer with all the dishes to air dry. His wife complained that the pile was to precarious and might fall breaking some dishes. The man was completely demoralized and told his wife he wanted a divorce. As he told the judge, all he really wanted was a little appreciation and affirmation.

Someone else may not do something our way, but we should give them the affirmation they deserve. I notice that many people mow their lawn diagonally. I guess they like the pattern. Just suppose that I mowed the lawn diagonally and one day my son went out and mowed the lawn for me, but he mowed it in straight lines. I could react two ways; I could complain that he didn’t mow it diagonally. And his reaction just might to never mow the lawn again. Or I could say a simple thank you, you did a good job. He just might mow it again some time.

You done good. Its not good English, but these are powerful words, especially when accompanied with an expression of gratitude. You done good, thanks.

Everyone needs appreciation and affirmation from those for whom they work hard to please.