This is the 42th Key to Life Article I have produced in the series I started concerning relationships.
There are still many more stuck in my head, but this one subject came rushing to the forefront. It is the idea of forgiveness.
I am reminded of a story told by Neil T. Anderson in one of his "Bondage Breaker" books. It was about a young
woman that Anderson had encountered who had a real problem in making and keeping friends, and keeping other relationships
from going sour. As he talked with her he found that her step-father had abused her in her youth and she could not let go
of the anger and hatred. Anderson told her that she had to forgive her step-father if she ever hoped to have any normal relationships.
She responded, "I won’t let him off the hook!"
Anderson then explained to her that he was not on her hook, she was on his hook. Every time something brought
her step-father to mind her stomach would tighten, she would get extremely angry and even physically ill because of the hostile
attitude she had. Anderson told her that she had to forgive for her own good, not for her step-father but for herself.
This kind of forgiveness does not come easy, it is a day-by-day exercise in forgiving.
This woman eventually was free from her step-father’s hook and began to make friends and eventually
even got married and is happily a wife and mother.
Anger and unforgiveness is poisonous, it destroys our soul. Look at what the Lord Jesus tells us in Matthew
6:14-15 "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men
their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."
In another place, the Apostle Paul writes, Ephesians 4:26-27 "’Be angry, and do not sin’: do not
let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil." Anger is a God given emotion, it tells us that something
is wrong, but we must not allow it to become a festering boil that brings pain to our soul and robs us of the joy of life
God intended for us. Notice that Paul tells us that stale anger gives place to the devil, in other words when we hold onto
our anger, we are sending Satan an engraved invitation to come into our lives and as a result to really mess it up.
We may have to get up every morning for years and consciencelessly forgive someone until we are really off
that individual’s hook. But, just remember that Paul said in 2 Corinthians 2:10-11 Now whom you forgive anything, I
also forgive. For if indeed I have forgiven anything, I have forgiven that one for your sakes in the presence of Christ, lest
Satan should take advantage of us; for we are not ignorant of his devices.
Luke 6:37 "Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and
you will be forgiven.
