First of all, this is for the guys. Guys don’t think that I am beating you over the head and everything falls on you. But you have to start somewhere. I will be addressing the ladies in future Key to Life articles. But, for now, guys this is for your edification.

There are three very specific Biblical mandates for husbands in their relationship with their wives. The first can be found in Ephesians 5:25, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her," (NKJV). The second and third are found in 1 Peter 3:7, "Husbands, likewise, dwell with them (wives) with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered," (NKJV). The three mandates are: (1) Love your wife as Christ loved the church; (2) Live with your wife with understanding; and (3) Give honor to your wife. Now there are just so many practical applications and so much specific knowledge available to help us to do just this, so let’s begin a series dedicated to giving us the knowledge and applications for each mandate.

Let’s start at the top of the list, "Love your wife . . . The meaning of this mandate is to unconditionally love your wife with a love that says, "I will do the very best for the one I love, regardless of the cost to myself." This not an emotion like infatuation, this is an act of the will, "I will love my wife as Christ loved the church."

Now I would say that letting your wife know that she is loved would be top priority in any husband’s book. Men and women are very different in their perception of love and so we need to understand a couple of things about a woman’s perception of love. Husbands, you may have noticed that your wives talk, a lot. All the experts who address this issue agree that a woman’s daily word count is twice that of a man’s. Because women are more relationally oriented than men, and are more verbally oriented than men, we need to make the effort to listen to her, without trying to fix something, if it needs to be fixed she will tell you. A woman, generally, uses conversation as a means of connecting with those she cares about. With this little clue, to let your woman know that she is loved, tell her. In as many ways as you can, tell her. "I love you." I’m very glad you said ‘yes’ the day I asked you to marry me." "I really like to see your smile every morning, I am sure glad we got married." "You are the most fantastic woman on the face of the earth." You get my drift?

But, we do need to back up our words with little acts of love and kindness that she would perceive as loving. Flowers for no particular reason. Remembering things that are important to her, like your anniversary or her birthday. But, be considerate as well, if your wife is on a diet, don’t buy her chocolate candy, get her something that won’t destroy her attempt to lose weight.

There are also little acts which will gain you positive points when you have the opportunity to do them. One woman made a special note when her husband dropped her off nearest the door to the house when it was raining, before he drove on the garage. Open the door for her, carry the packages for her. And, heaven forbid that you should go SHOPPING with her, if you do it attentively without complaint, you just might get some more points.

You may do many things because you love your wife. You might start her car on a cold day so it will be warm when she goes out to drive somewhere. You might shovel the snow to her car and away from it. But, the little personal things, the single rose given to her, the back rub, the foot massage, the bubble bath you draw for her will gain more points, even though, those other things were done to make her happy.

And last of all, be romantic.