In another Key to Life, I spoke to husbands. This time it is the wives turn. Last time I pointed out two passages that describe the Biblical mandates for husbands; Ephesians 5:25, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her," (NKJV). The second and third are found in 1 Peter 3:7, "Husbands, likewise, dwell with them (wives) with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered," (NKJV).

The wives have Biblical mandates as well. But it is very interesting that even though the Bible says, "Husbands, love your wives," the Bible does not say, specifically, "wives, love your husbands." However, the Apostle Paul wrote to Titus that he should instruct the older women to teach the young women to love their husbands, Titus 2:4 "that they (the older women) admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, " (NKJV). I pointed out to the guys that "Men and women are very different in their perception of love." Ladies, men are people of action, not words. Now of course men talk, but not as much, men show their love by doing. So the best way of letting your husband know that he is loved is through action. This is a quote from Dr Kevin Leman, Marriage, March/April 2002, 30-31, in talking about a man’s physical needs, "He needs to feel needed. A man with a wife who is interested in him physically feels very emotionally fulfilled. If you want a man to feel wanted and needed, words (alone) won’t cut it; you need to pursue him physically. Your husband can’t listen if your body is screaming out, Don’t touch me! Or even if your body is saying, "I don’t care."

Aside from the physical love, a man needs to feel as though he is a success. Nothing says success to him better than a wife who lets him know she appreciates what he does. Doctors Laura Schlessinger and Barbara DeAngelis along with Kara Oh, all three authors of books on relationships, say that men, today, get very little appreciation. Not too long ago, a man went hunting and brought home his kill and the family knew he was a success and expressed their admiration and appreciation. Today, a man works 50 - 70 hours a week and may not even bring home his pay check since many employers prefer direct deposit to save money. Now the man has no visible evidence of his contribution to the family’s survival, it is all taken for granted because no one sees the deer across his shoulders.

There is more, and in time I will cover some of those other items, but a man who knows that he is loved and appreciated will feel good about himself and be available to return that love and appreciation easily.

There is a well known Biblical principle would stand every one in good stead if we just heed what ti says, Luke 6:31 "And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise," (NKJV). This is often said in another way, "Do unto others as you would have do unto you." Commonly called the Golden Rule.