To know wisdom and instruction, To perceive the words of understanding, {3} To receive the instruction of wisdom, Justice, judgment, and equity; {4} To give prudence to the simple, To the young man knowledge and discretion; {5} A wise man will hear and increase learning, And a man of understanding will attain wise counsel, {6} To understand a proverb and an enigma, The words of the wise and their riddles. (Proverbs 1:2-6)

Understanding is a fountain of life to him who has it (Proverbs 16:22).

On of the principles found in great abundance is the principle of understanding. One of the greatest problems in this old world of ours is understanding, especially in our relationships. I love Dr. John Gray’s book, "Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars."

In his book and in his TV commercials of a few years ago, Dr. Gray tells us that men and women speak different languages. Oh, we use the same words, but they have different meanings. Below, I give the illustration he used in his TV commercials:

Now, this is speaking of a marital relationship. When a man is upset, he prefers to go into his cave and not be bothered until he has resolved the problem. If his wife asks him what is wrong, he will say something like, "Nothing’s wrong. Everything will be OK." What he really means is, "I’m going into my cave. I’ll be OK. When I have worked it all out, I’ll come out. Please don’t bother me."

When a woman is upset and her husband asks her what’s wrong, she will say something like, "Nothing’s wrong. Everything will be OK." Notice the words are the same as what the man says, but the real meaning is totally different. What she means is, "Something is wrong, but, I want you to coax me into talking about it."

Imagine for a moment, the husband has come home and wants to be in his cave, not be bothered, he does not want to talk about whatever is bothering him. She asks him what’s wrong, he answers, "Nothing’s wrong. Everything will be OK." Now, he means, "I’m going into my cave. I’ll be OK. When I have worked it all out, I’ll come out. Please don’t bother me." But, she hears, "Something is wrong, but, I want you to coax me into talking about it."

So what happens, she badgers him until he gets angry.

Now, the husband comes home and finds his wife in a funk, he asks her, What’s wrong, and she answers, "Nothing’s wrong. Everything will be OK." She means, "Something is wrong, but, I want you to coax me into talking about it." But he hears, "I’m going into my cave. I’ll be OK. When I have worked it all out, I’ll come out. Please don’t bother me."

So what happens, he thinks, "Oh, she’s going into her cave, I’ll leave her alone." Now, she is doubly upset because he doesn’t care.

We have to be honest with each other. Tell each other what is really in our heart.

And we have to get out our little Venusian to Martian dictionary or our Martian to Venusian dictionary and translate what the other person is really saying. Its work, but if we love our significant other, its worth it.