In one of the columns on relationships, I wrote about listening. I said something like, "Well, for starters, turn off the television, put down the newspaper and look at the face of the person talking." This is great advice. It shows that the listener really cares about the talker. But I would like to approach the other issue in this little scene, courtesy to the television watcher or newspaper reader.

Here is an illustration. The evening meal has been consumed. The table and kitchen have been cleaned up. Husband and wife are now sitting in their favorite chairs and they prepare for a quiet evening at home. Dad has a favorite television program that comes on at eight o’clock that evening. Comes eight o’clock and dad is settling down to enjoy his program. This is the very time that his wife chooses to begin talking about something that is important to her. It doesn’t matter that they sat through dinner together and have said nothing. It doesn’t matter that they have taken time to do some odd jobs around the house and haven’t said three words to each other. It doesn’t matter that his favorite program comes on once a week for one hour. The hour of that favorite program is precisely the hour that they must talk.

I realize that she may not know that this is his number one favorite television program. I realize that she might not have felt comfortable bringing up the subject while the kids were around. I realize that she believes the subject is vital. However, there is a better way to handle this situation.

By the way, this could very easily be the other way around. It could be the wife who wants to watch her favorite program and the husband who needs to talk. Not very likely, you say. It could happen.

At any rate, It would be so easy to say, "Honey, when you can give me your undivided attention I would like to discuss something with you." The first time we do this it might scare the begeebers out of our spouse. But, if we try to be thoughtful of the other person, they just might get used to it and be more willing to give us their attention.

The word considerate does not appear in the King James Version of the Bible, but it does appear three times in the New International Version.

1. Titus 3:2 (NIV) to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men.

2. James 3:17 (NIV) But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.

3. 1 Peter 3:7 (NIV) Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

Now, it appears to address husbands but it is equally applicable to wives as well.

Especially with the one who should mean more to us than any other, BE CONSIDERATE.