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Sunday, September 24, 2006

Don't Want List

Erin, having just reviewed her belongings in the process of moving house, has posted a list of "Five Things I Will Never Buy Again" and ends by saying,

I think, instead of keeping a "Want List," I'm going to start keeping a "Don't Want" list. Think of all the things I could put on it! No more knit fabrics until I sew what I have. No more bad chocolate--wait for the good stuff or nothing. Nothing with a logo (that's been on my list FOREVER). What would be on your "don't want" list?

God, where to start? As most of my meatspace friends know, I've lived in the same huge (by New York standards) apartment for thirteen years now, and I have so much stuff that I don't know what I have. I've been thinking that a useful project to practice my drawing would be to draw every piece of clothing I own. Anything I didn't feel was worth drawing would then have to be thrown out. But who has time to draw all that? Still, even without forcing myself to go through all my closet-type-areas (part of the problem is that my apartment, though large, has shit for closets), I know that there are certain categories of garments that I can not in good conscience continue to amass.

cardigans - I'm quite sure I have one in every color known to Pantone, and though a number of them require mending or expulsion (damn you, J. Crew!), and even though I wear or carry a cardigan almost every day, except in the hottest extremes of summer, the wearable ones still number more than I will ever rotate with any frequency.

turtleneck anything - I've avoided these for years (I'm a compulsive necklace-wearer, which turtlenecks won't accommodate; also, they make me look like a tank) but a few still linger, for those coldest days of winter when I don't plan to leave the house. Every couple of years, though, I see one in a catalogue (on a stick-thin, flat-chested model) and think, "Oh, let me give it a try." The turtleneck comes, I try it on, I say, "What the fuck was I thinking?" and I send it back. I should just stop doing that dance altogether.

T-shirts with stuff printed on them - esp. those made by American Apparel, whose largest size is suitable only for very small children. But regardless of the fit, no matter how cute the T-shirt looks in my drawer, I just never wear these, even on laundry day.

crew- or jewel-neck anything - most of the world seems to love round necklines. Unfortunately, unless they're deeply scooped, they make me look like a hippopotamus.

button-down shirts - this is another thing I'm pretty good at avoiding, but every now and then I see one in a pattern I just can't resist. Then they hang in the closet for ten years, with me pulling them out every few months to try them on with things; they never get worn.

God, are you exhausted yet? I am, and so far I've only been considering tops. Okay, how about nonclothes objects?

stationery - I know I should write more thank-you notes, but I think we've conclusively disproved the theory that having cute notecards around will make one use them. Ditto for having adorable letter-size stationery for writing to one's friends. Sorry! I've really been meaning to drop you an e-mail!

cookbooks - I cook recipe-requiring food in my own house, for a nonparty occasion, three times a year, whether I need to or not. The rest of the time, it's cold cereal, tuna salad, scrambled eggs, or pasta. Meanwhile, I have four shelves of cookbooks, ranging from Larousse Gastronomique to a miniature book on pot pies. (Yes, just pot pies. Gift.) And then, on those rare occasions when I do cook, I usually just pull a recipe off Epicurious. I think I'm pretty much set.

mixing bowls - I have, let's see, at least . . . eighteen prep bowls?, ranging in capacity from "minced capers" to "small sheep, slightly folded." But, listen--I'm not going to institute an actual ban on these until I've determined the replaceability of my favorite huge green melamine bowl, whose spout I managed to smash off with the frying pan last week.

books - my dad used to say, whenever Mom came home from a bookstore with a bag of new books, "But you already have a book!" He was only kind of joking. And they always had a decent array of bookshelves. For someone who has the most pathetically lame, mismatched, nonadjustable gaggle of bookcases known to man, I have far, far too many books. A quarter of them live on the floor. And when you consider that the only books I've been reading for the last two years are audiobooks, well, you see how stupid this is. I purge frequently, but still, new ones keep trickling in.

eyeshadow - I still have some from high school. I wear eyeshadow once every three years. But I nevertheless buy a new compact from time to time, just in case. Moron.

tea - I usually justify new purchases by saying, " Well, I drink tea every day. It'll get used eventually." But when you have to put shelves on the top of your fridge to accommodate all the tins and boxes and silvery pouches, you've reached your limit.

Okay, well, I think that's enough uplifting content for today. Now I must eat some cold cereal, and then I'm off to Brighton Beach with the girls to go . . . probably buy more tea. Let's meme it: what do you not want?

10:04 AM | 5 fancy new comments |

Comments

Erin wrote at September 24, 2006 5:51 PM:

Oh, this is even more fun that I thought!

I am right there with you on the cardigans, but I'm not done yet. Because even though I have enough cardigans to outfit an entire regiment of chic librarians, I never have the RIGHT cardigan. You know, in the exact shade of the tiny accent color of the wild print I'm wearing in my skirt. THAT one.

I also buy lots of button-up shirts in crazy patterns. Which don't go with the skirts. I have one that always gets worn but the rest just sit there and glare at it.
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Kato wrote at September 24, 2006 7:04 PM:

Things I have purged this week in prep for our move: 2 boxes of cassettes at least a decade old that sound like they were recorded underwater. All but 5 lipsticks, and that?s still more than I?ll ever need. Yes, a cardigan. Nice wool clothes with moth holes in them that I will never repair. 3 pairs of cute shoes that hurt my feet. 8 books that I will never read again, or could find at any library if I ever actually decide to try (sorry, Herodotus). Several redundant kitchen implements?I don?t need more than one ladle, slotted spoon, etc. I know you think that?s crazy, Indy, but it?s true for me.

Most of this stuff is going to Goodwill, and the trick will be to get out of Goodwill without a bag of new stuff.

We Craigslisted the cassettes and some kid came and took them away. So when Susanne Vega makes a big retro comeback she can thank me.
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bbrug wrote at September 24, 2006 10:09 PM:

Erin: I know, I know--there's the blood red cardigan and the tomato red cardigan, and the plain brown cardigan and the tweedy brown cardigan. And we're not even talking about wool versus cotton. What I could really use is a blue cardigan in the one shade of blue that looks okay on me, as well as a pink wool one. But how many black ones does a girl really need?

Kato: Hey, I have that set of cassettes, too! McGarrigle sisters? Thomas Dolby? And, no, I don't think you're crazy for needing only one of each kitchen implement. Since you never throw parties where there's one vat of vegan stew and one vat of carnivorous stew, why would you need two ladles? I, on the other hand, can happily justify keeping service for twenty-four on hand at all times, because, you know, once or twice a year, I have some people over. (And we eat off plasticware.)
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JuliaR wrote at October 04, 2006 12:39 PM:

This one made me laugh out loud:
"ranging in capacity from "minced capers" to "small sheep, slightly folded." "

So now I think I have to make my own list, as I saw much on yours and Erin's that reminded me of me. I wasn't going to because of the embarrassment factor but I figure if you can do it, so can I.
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bbrug wrote at October 04, 2006 1:28 PM:

JuliaR: I don't recommend owning a sheep-sized bowl, as it requires a sheep-sized space in which to store it. Mine sits beneath my desk, usually, filled to overflowing with miscellaneous kitchen junk. Because it is always filled with junk, I never go to the trouble of placing any sheep in it. It's a bad situation.
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Sunday, September 24, 2006

Don't Want List

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