CATHOLIC GROUP THERAPY

(let’s lose the “I’m okay, You’re Whacked Out” ‘tude)

by Kelly Clark — the lady in the pew — January 31, 2003

Just what the Archdiocese of Boston doesn’t need: another lay “group.” The latest is the self-proclaimed: “Parish Leadership Forum.” As the name implies, it’s for “Parish Leaders.”

(Quick question: is there any lay person left in the Archdiocese of Boston who isn’t a “leader?”)

Anyway, allow me to insert here a disclaimer on my, uh, disclaimer (or “the fine print.”)

In it, I claim (and in a rather in-your-face way, now that I look at it) that I don’t belong to “any Catholic group.”

Please don’t think this makes me a “good person.” What this makes me is a slacker.

The fact is, some of the holiest people I know belong to Catholic organizations.

The key word here being “Catholic.”

Anybody and her aunt can organize a group and call it “Catholic,” and sometimes it seems that everybody and her various aunts have done so, and continue to do so.

But just because they label a group “Catholic,” it ain’t necessarily so.

The next time somebody tells you he’s affiliated with a “Catholic” organization, ask him where it’s listed in The Official Catholic Directory, published by P.J. Kennedy and Sons. (Your local library, and probably your rectory, has a copy: it’s huge!) If he can’t answer you? Well, then you have your answer.

Another tip-off that the organization probably isn’t “Catholic” can usually be found in the name itself. If the group’s name indicates that it is, for example, “Faithful,” or “Concerned,” or “comprised of `Leaders’” or — yikes — has a “Voice,” then watch out.

Genuine Catholic groups seek genuine holiness.

They don’t, on the other hand, seek media attention. That’s another warning sign, incidentally. I mean, try imagining reading the following paragraph over your morning java:

“When asked about the bishop’s statement, a spokeswoman for the group known as The Legion of Mary said, yadda, yadda, yadda.”

I don’t think so.

The Roman Catholic Church in the United States, and throughout the world, is richly blessed with organizations dedicated to holiness, not headlines.

I love what Opus Dei, for example, says about “secrecy” versus “privacy”:

“Any kind of secrecy is expressly forbidden by the statutes governing Opus Dei. In practice colleagues, friends and acquaintances of members will always know about their membership because they make it known, especially by the way they live their faith. But members have no reason to try to publicize their membership, because a lay person's approach to holiness in Opus Dei is something personal, an aspect of his or her private life.” [emphasis Kelly’s]

Compare that attitude with the “press release mentality” of “The Faithful,” “The “Concerned,” “The Leaders,” and “The Voices,” and, well, there’s just no comparison.

“Sanctification”: what a beautiful notion!

Although tireless in their efforts to (quietly) carry out the Corporal Works of Mercy, members of the Legion of Mary have a simple, and simply beautiful, goal:

“The main purpose of the Legion of Mary is to give glory to God through the sanctification of its members.”

Opus Dei, The Legion of Mary, and the scores of officially recognized Catholic Organizations are diverse in the work they do.

(And by the way, I’ve never heard any member of these organizations refer to his or her work as “My Ministry.” In fact, they rarely use the first person personal pronoun at all. There’s another lesson to be learned for many of us, including this writer.)

But they are consistent in trying to answer the call to holiness, and recognize that each of us — even me! — is “called by God to be a saint.”

What’s your pleasure?

Are you looking for holiness in your professional life? Are you a lawyer, a Boy Scout, a teen, a health care professional? Are you married? Are you single?

Are you involved in the pro-life movement? Devoted to the Rosary? To the Blessed Sacrament? Do you want to do more in the way of charitable work? Are you interested in keeping Catholic educational institutions Catholic?

Are you seeking sainthood?

Whatever your vocation or avocation, there’s a Catholic organization for you. And I’ve only skimmed the surface. I stopped counting after 150 major organizations in the United States alone!

With all of these organizations firmly established, and so many of them open to everybody, I’ve gotta ask myself:

What’s with the “hey-let’s-start-a-group” craze?

My guess, and this is only a guess: it has to do with looking earthward.

Somebody sees a problem.

It could be, say, priests screwing around. It could be dissent within the Church.

Somebody might find the Church not to be “inclusive” enough. Somebody else might think this bishop or that one is “too permissive.”

Some guy might be ticked off at his parish priest. Some lady might have a problem with Sister Mary Gumdrop.

There are probably as many problems in the Catholic Church — real or perceived — as there are Catholics, so I won’t go on. You get the picture.

Anyway — and maybe this is an American thing, I don’t know — the answer these days seems to be: “Let’s organize and fix everything!” And hey, presto, next thing you know, some other group is born, intent of “leading” the rest of us poor slobs out of the darkness of our ignorance and naivete.

Invariably, the new group will attempt to accomplish this by publicizing itself in the secular media. And, just as inevitably, somebody won’t cotton to what the new group is saying. The result?

A newer group, to counteract the new group, of course!

By this time, of course, the concept of “holiness” has take a back seat. Oh, sure, the new groups will try and remember to open their meetings with a prayer. And they’ll talk a good game about the importance of God (which I sometimes fear is Name-dropping carried to the most hubristic extent) — while simultaneously bashing everybody not buying into their “enlightened” vision.

Sheesh.

And you wonder why some folks — yours truly, included — worry about divisiveness? Gimme a break!

“God willing.”

I’ve come to use this phrase a lot, but this is a fairly recent practice. My folks used it all the time, but I never quite got the point. Then one day, a lady at my parish (who happens to be a Legion of Mary member) said something to me that I’ll never forget: “I’ll see you tonight, then, Kelly, God willing.”

I was stunned at the profound truth in her simple words, and have never forgotten them.

The phrase seems foreign to the newly established “Catholic” groupies. What I hear is stuff like: “First we’re gonna do this. Then, when this is done, we’re gonna do that. In a year, we will have accomplished thus-and-so.” And so on.

The problem with having an “agenda” — hidden or otherwise — isn’t always the items on the agenda. It’s the dangerously arrogant assumption that one can actually create an agenda!

Because we can’t. Not with any certainty, anyway. For instance, my “agenda” is to finish this little article and then clean my bathroom. Yet, there is absolutely no certainty that this will actually happen. It’s not in my hands. It’ll happen, or it won’t happen, God willing.

Redundancy. To say nothing of duplication!

Here’s a view from the pew.

We don’t need any bleepin’ new “Catholic” groups. We don’t need any more lay “Voices” or lay “Leaders,” “Faithful” or “Concerned” as they may be.

What we do need (me especially), and have needed since Adam and Eve felt a sudden urge to grab some fig leaves, is sanctity. Holiness. And an eye — no, make that both eyes — toward Heaven.

And we are extremely blessed that God has already given saintly men and women the grace to create organizations that provide the opportunity to achieve all that, and something more:

Humility.

Opus Dei — in startling contrast to the rash of “groups” sprouted over the past few years — was founded in 1928 by a priest, Father Josemaria Escriva. (Father Escriva was canonized by Pope John Paul II last October.)

Yet, the organization describes itself as “new!”

You see, its members apparently remember that the Holy Catholic Church is a couple of thousand years old — and that salvation history is a lot older. So, seeing themselves, after almost 80 years, as “the new kids on the block” seems perfectly reasonable to them.

Makes sense, doesn’t it?

“Uh, Kelly? Isn’t it about time to wrap this up?”

Yep, and I’ve saved the best until last!

If you’re the type who feels called upon to address a specific problem you see within the Church by organizing a “Catholic” group, then here’s the GOOD NEWS:

Somebody’s already done it for you!

And now for the fine print:

Kelly Clark is your basic nobody. She serves on no parish councils, belongs to none of the myriad of designer-chic "Catholic" groups, or any Catholic group, for that matter, other than the Roman Catholic Church. Holding no theology degrees, she has no desire so see herself or any of her sex wearing a clerical collar. She figures Jesus knew what He was doing when He established His Church, and also figures that it’s His Church, not hers, and not yours. She’s an ordinary parishioner of Cathedral of the Holy Cross, Boston.

Use the links on the left to e-mail Kelly, to visit her parish, read past columns, and check out other cool stuff. (If you don’t see any links on the left, you’ve probably been directed here by a search engine. Just point your browser to http://www.pewlady.com to get to the main site.)

Copyright: Kelly Clark, 2003. I don’t care if you share this stuff with others. In fact, I hope you do! Only I’d appreciate it if you’d link me, or print it off as it is. In other words, don’t change anything. Thanks.

“The Lady in the Pew” column is updated weekly, God willing. To be notified of updates, please e-mail me. The link’s on the left.

“Mary, Mother of God, pray for us. Mary, Mother of the Church, pray for us.”