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VOICE OF THE FAITHFUL™ DETERMINES BOSTON’S NEXT BISHOP? (Boston Priests Forum head Bullock appears to be front runner) by Kelly Clark — the lady in the pew — April 27, 2003 A funny thing happened to me as I left the Cathedral yesterday at the end of the Divine Mercy Sunday Mass. I came across an odd looking form, entitled: “Bishop Search Survey” Authored by my good friends in Waltham, Massachusetts, known as “The Faithful Response at Saint Mary,” the form lists 13 “traits you feel are the most important” in the new bishop. Respondents are asked to pick 3 out of the 13. We are also informed that this list of traits “combines qualities determined by local VOTF affiliate members and by some members of the Boston Priests Forum.” Aha. Let’s take a look at the traits the lay folk and their Priests Forum Advisors have come up with (in order of appearance)
And, of course: :::::::::::::::::drum roll:::::::::::::::
(Insert dream-sequence, harp sound effect here) While mulling over the “Bishop Search” (or “BS”) qualities, I found myself day-dreaming about how a bishop wannabe would write a letter of application, encompassing all 13 desired qualities. And hey, presto, before you knew it, look what I came up with: Dear Voice of the Faithful™ Folks, Please consider me for the position of Archbishop of Boston. A local guy, my ability to work with my fellow priests is proven by my august position as head of the “Boston Priests Forum.” I am a frequent speaker at Voice of the Faithful™ meetings, automatically insuring my status as a “priest of integrity.” I’m without a doubt the most humble man I know. What’s more, I pride myself on how great I am at listening to the laity with openness and respect. Enclosed are my baptismal and Confirmation certificates, proving that I’m Holy Spirit-filled. My commitment to disclosure and communication is known far and wide, particularly among the reporters on the Boston Globe Spotlight Team, for whom I am a pet source. While I live in the upscale suburb of Sharon, Massachusetts, I once drove through the inner city of Boston without locking my car doors! I believe that establishes my courage. People tell me that compassion, healing, and reconciliation are my middle names, what with all those Compassion, Healing, and Reconciliation Services I’m always pushing. In preparation for my new role as Archbishop, I plan to seek advanced degrees from a number of various schools, trading in my life experience for college credit. My vision for the future includes a miter and crosier. I can type 75 words per minute: a true testament to my administrative abilities, and whatever I tell the Boston Priests Forum to do, they do it, since I Am Their Leader! Very truly yours, Reverend Robert Compassion-Healing-Reconciliation Bullock P.S. One other thing: you can call me “Bob.” “Uh, Kelly? You got a lot of time on your hands today?” I know. Pitiful, isn’t it? But it gets even more so. While I was just kidding around with the above, at least one “Voice of the Faithful”™ chapter isn’t kidding! In fact, over in Needham, Massachusetts, the “Voice of the Faithful”™ folks aren’t at all happy with merely suggesting qualities they’d like to see in their new bishop. No sirree Bob! (So to speak.) In fact, according to Needham VOTF member John Magilligan: “Guidelines, qualities, traits, characteristics, etc., all these are fine up to a point. Let's cut to the chase and ask the VOTF to nominate those candidates that are acceptable to the VOTF at large. My friends and I discussed this and a consensus formed suggesting that a single candidate be named, a candidate that would be acceptable across the broadest cross section of the laity, clerics, and all of the special interest groups to which they belong.” Once again, there seems to be a bit of mutiny among the VOTF rank-and-file. Qualities, schmalities! They want to actually name the new bishop, or at least nominate him (at this point, I don’t think I need to add “her” — not yet, anyway.) And guess who’s Numero Uno? From Needham’s VOTF member Bill Flanagan: “Rev. Robert Bullock, Pastor of Our Lady of Sorrows Parish in Sharon and President of The Boston Priests Forum , although a long shot to be appointed, can meet many of the qualities desired in our next Archbishop. As one who asks himself in many situations “What would Jesus do?”, Fr. Bullock has distinguished himself in handling anti-Semitism in the town of Sharon and in organizing and keeping unified the Priests’ Forum. He is in excellent physical condition and, very importantly, he is not motivated by hierarchical politics.” Did you catch that, sports fans? Excellent Physical Condition!!! What more could we want??? Make his a double. Mr. Flanagan also writes: “The fact that Fr. Bullock is not presently a bishop is not a serious bar to his candidacy. There is no reason he cannot receive a “double promotion” from Pastor to Bishop to Archbishop if he is perceived to be the best choice. His popularity with the priests of the archdiocese just about assures his acceptance by that group, no small achievement in itself.” Are you like me? Are you wondering who’s going to perform that “double promotion” trick? Perhaps Father Bullock, once he’s approved by The BS Committee, can doubly promote himself? (Unlike my learned suburban fellow Catholics, I know so little about Canon Law.) Which brings us to the (mysteriously named) VOTF “Motion D”: Whereas the Archdiocese of Boston is in need of an Archbishop to lead it in the aftermath of the sexual abuse scandal, and Whereas both priests and laity of the Archdiocese are in dire need of having their confidence restored in the leadership of the Archdiocese, and Whereas the following individuals possess the attributes most needed to successfully fill the position of Archbishop of Boston in these tremendously challenging times and are very highly regarded by both the priests and laity of the Archdiocese, The Representative Council of the Voice Of The Faithful hereby enthusiastically proposes that Rev. Robert Bullock, Bishop John M. D’Arcy and Bishop Sean Patrick O’Malley be seriously considered for the position of Archbishop of Boston. I wonder if it could work like the Miss America™ Pageant? You know. Father Bullock wins, Bishop D’Arcy is First Runner Up, with poor Bishop O’Malley merely showing. That makes Bishop D’Arcy’s status very important, because: Kelly’s suggested addendum to “Motion D” “Whereas: (hey, I can sling the “whereas” stuff as much as the next guy) “In the event that Reverend Bullock, for any reason, is unable to fulfill his duties as Archbishop of Boston, the highly coveted tiara — oops, make that “miter” — will go to the First Runner Up: Bishop John M. D’Arcy!!!” That should make everybody happy. Or maybe not. I called the lady in charge of “Voice of the Faithful”™ at Saint Mary’s in Waltham, Massachusetts today, because I wondered what people were supposed to do with the form I’d come across. She wasn’t home, but her husband was. Her husband is most emphatically not a VOTF member. However, he was nice enough to tell me that people are supposed to leave them in the church for his wife to take home. As he seemed an amiable sort, and as I’m an amiable sort, we enjoyed a bit of a chuckle over the whole enterprise. Toward the end of the form is the instruction: “On the reverse side, please write any comments you wish to include in this document.” Mister Voice of the Faithful™ Lady told me — with barely hidden glee, I might add — that many of the forms returned indeed included comments on the reverse side. The most common? “GO HOME AND LEAVE US ALONE!” I couldn’t have said it better myself. “Kelly? Time to wrap it up!” Okay. Here’s my point. Once again, a tiny minority of priests in this Archdiocese are filling the heads of the more gullible members of their flocks with unadulterated hooey. For reasons of their own, this tiny band has invented an organization that has nothing much to justify its existence save for the elevation and glory of the Boston Priests Forum, and their lay counterparts in dissension. In an Archdiocese moribund due to acute holiness deficiency — reverence toward the Blessed Sacrament, for example, is rapidly becoming a quaint bit of pre-Vatican II history (more on that in another column, God willing) — these clerical clowns are doing exactly zero to correct the problem. Instead, they’re spending their time making stupid lists and catering to their parishioners craving for earthly power and recognition, while apparently giving the state of their souls the short end of the stick. It’s bad enough that people in my Archdiocese are being duped, but — insanely, but true — so are lay folks throughout the fruited plain. The cancer called “Voice of the Faithful™” isn’t going away, as I’d initially hoped. Instead, it’s oozing it’s way throughout Catholic America. Apparently, the Boston Priests Forum has its counterparts throughout the country. Were I a demanding person, I’d demand that the Boston Priests Forum issue a profound and very public apology to every Roman Catholic in the United States. And then disband. (After, by the way, identifying themselves. What, pray tell, is so damned “courageous” about priests who want to keep their “club” membership a secret? Quick question: other than Fathers Bullock and Cuenin, exactly who are the members of the “Boston Priests Forum?”) Since I’m not a demanding person, I can only echo what evidently many parishioners at Saint Mary’s in Waltham and countless other Catholics in this Archdiocese are saying: GO HOME AND LEAVE US ALONE! Thanks for coming along for the ride. And one other thing. While I handle stuff like this with as much humor as I can muster, I also believe it vital to keep these folks in my prayers. I beg you to join me. In the Risen Lord, alleluia,
Kelly Clark End notes (gee, but doesn’t that look scholarly?) Lest you think I invented any of this stuff — I know I would! — here’s some resources to check out: For a PDF file of the “Bishop Survey Questionnaire,” e-mail me. On the “Bishop Search” rigmarole, try these links: http://www.geocities.com/needhamparishvoice/ournextarchbishop.html http://www.votf.org/vineyard/vineyard6/voices.html http://www.st-agnes-reading.org/events.htm And now for the fine print: Kelly Clark is your basic nobody. She serves on no parish councils, belongs to none of the myriad of designer-chic "Catholic" groups, or any Catholic group, for that matter, other than the Roman Catholic Church. Holding no theology degrees, she has no desire to see herself or any of her sex wearing a clerical collar. She figures Jesus knew what He was doing when He established His Church, and also figures that it’s His Church, not hers, and not yours. She’s an ordinary parishioner of Cathedral of the Holy Cross, Boston. Use the links on the left to e-mail Kelly, to visit her parish, read past columns, and check out other cool stuff. (If you don’t see any links on the left, you’ve probably been directed here by a search engine. Just point your browser to http://www.pewlady.com to get to the main site.) Copyright: Kelly Clark, 2003. I don’t care if you share this stuff with others. In fact, I hope you do! Only I’d appreciate it if you’d link me, or print it off as it is. In other words, don’t change anything. Thanks. “The Lady in the Pew” column is updated regularly, God willing. To be notified of updates, please e-mail me. The link’s on the left. “Mary, Mother of the Church, pray for us.”
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