So sorry for the long silence, y'all. October - and most of November - has proven a time for adjustments, for settling in: to new routines, new limitations, new medications, new caregivers...

Currently - which is to say today, right here, right now, in this moment - I am feeling...good. Any (physical) pain I might be experiencing is under control, and I am working with my hospice nurse, Claudine, and the hospice's medical director, Dr. Smith, to further reduce the number of pain meds I am taking.

Arguably, the emotional pain is much worse. I responded horribly to both Klonopin and Xanax, so I scrapped the pharmaceutical approach to managing that pain back in mid-October, availing myself of friends and family instead.

The wall opposite my bed is covered with photographs, drawings, cards, and e-mails, the desk surface there with more photographs, rocks, shells, candles, objects of beauty. Music floods my ears whenever I want, including the magnificent, soothing sounds of friends David and Carol singing a Hindu chant in wonderful harmony; I have an almost Pavlovian response to their singing, and it floods me with instant calm. Good food just keeps pouring in...I have never been so well-fed. Out-of-town visitors - friends not seen for months and even years - have been a blessing, their love a gift beyond words. Acupuncture. Essential oils. Prayer beads. Tea. The beauty and wonder of Discovery Channel's "planet earth." Unexpected phone calls and surprising notes and cards. Next week I will resume seeing my old therapist. All this and more helps me reduce - or at least manage - the emotional pain.

The day before Thanksgiving. My favorite holiday. Did I expect to be able to say, back in late September, after the oncologist on-call told me that I would live until the end of the year - at most - that I had anything to be thankful for? In that moment, no. But I do. I have so much - and SO MANY - to be thankful for. And I am.

Have a Blessed Thanksgiving.