Dear Scott:
I thought I'd write to you about my own NDE which happened 10 years ago in
the Middle East as it is not the typical sort of "light" encounter that most
have read about. Nevertheless, it had an important effect on my life.
I was teaching in the Middle East when I succumbed to cholera at the end of a
city-wide epidemic. I lived alone and due to a variety of coincidences, no
one knew where I was or that I was sick, so that I was allowed to go through
the whole thing on my own. Cholera hits fast and hard and as it turns out, I
had appendicitis at the same time- I found this out during my second attack
of appendicitis back in the States several months later- the surgeon asked me
if I knew I'd had a previous attack, as the appendix had a several-months'
old scar when he removed it. Anyway, once the cholera hit I quickly became
seriously dehydrated and incapable of leaving my apartment- I was also in
severe pain from the appendicitis. In shock, I was lying on my bedroom floor
when I distinctly heard a male voice say, "Get into bed and whatever happens,
do not move, even slightly." I used the last of my strength to get into bed
and did not move, couldn't have anyway. At this point, the voice, no longer
audible but what I'd call telepathic, instructed me to concentrate on a
fuzzy red line in a black void. As long as I concentrated on this
flickering red line I'd maintain a foothold to life. I was at this point
bodiless, formless, floating in a black warm void. I had no emotions
whatsoever, I felt very neutral yet curious about everything, and completely
at ease and liberated. I felt I was in a "waiting room" of sorts, neither in
life nor death, or maybe in between. I was aware that it was my choice to go
to one side or the other, and could instantly will myself to "touch" various
people whose lives connected with mine to see what would happen and how
they'd feel at soul level if I left or if I stayed. It sounds strange but
everything seemed simultaneous and timeless and my mind could travel wherever
it chose instantly. After "touching" family members, friends, and people I
later could not recognize (although since then I've met some of them) I
realized that I had many agreements for working with people, and that leaving
my life would force me to do the whole thing over later, it would selfishly
harm a good number of people if I died at that point, and doing the work I
needed to do would be much more difficult in another life. In other words,
though I had no desire to return to my dessicated, disease-wracked body, I
really had no choice in the practical sense- it was the only sensible option
to return. The voice accepted my choice and helped me throughout the
experience, as needed. I woke up 42 hours later. I felt very disoriented
and peculiar for many days afterward and told no one what had happened to me.
In fact, I told no one until 7 years later- I thought they would think me
nuts! But eventually the experience helped me gain a better direction in life
and to be more compassionate, open and humorous. I began to seriously study
Buddhism and eventually converted. I especially learned to value this life,
and the present moment, rather than constantly look to something somewhere
else. Interestingly, many of my friends and relatives wrote letters to me
coinciding with the time of my experience; they wanted to know if I was OK
and all of them exhorted me to take better care of myself! Peculiar
coincidence.
-Masha
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