Thu 2 July
Granny has always been cursed with a ±2˚ comfort range, and she especially dreads July and August. On the other hand, David's range is about 20˚ either side of normal, so he can never guess what to expect from his first wife. Most of our arguments now are about how best to regulate the temperature... sad but true. Any suggestions?

David woke up Tuesday morning thinking about bicycles. Now Jane's been nagging him for a year or so about getting bikes, but apparently it just had to be his idea. He spent the morning in research and discovered something called a "comfort bike" with a large padded seat, large padded tires, spring suspension and a minimum of gears. Jane wandered in amidst all this bike talk and was astounded.

An inexpensive new one costs some $400, so he quickly turned to Craigslist and found the very same woman's model for $200. That got his attention, especially since it was less than a month old. Further search turned up a man's bike of the same brand for $85. We arranged to see the two on Wednesday afternoon.

Then we rushed out to Lake Balboa Park to rent a bike and see if we could actually do this. After wobbling around the bike path for a while we decided to go for it, even though David managed to fall over on the grass during an ill-advised stop on a downhill slope. He seriously injured his pride... but nothing more.

So onward to Oxnard to meet Lydia, a delightful lady, and buy her bike. Folks, have you ever tried to cram a 26" bike into the back seat of a mid-size Buick? Yes, we removed the front wheel – that was the easy part. In the end we got it home after some radical adjustments to both front seats, which put our large padded chauffeur uncomfortably close to the steering wheel.

Today we are vegging in front of the TV and nursing a few bruises and sore muscles. What about the $85 bike, you ask? Sadly, it was sold before we could see it. David is combing Craigslist right now in search of another bargain.

Fri 3 July
David's Aunt Eleanor sent us a 5-minute video yesterday, and we can't figure out where to post it. Not political and surely not a joke, it describes a kind of amusement park – sort of – but not like Six Flags or Disneyland, and we refuse to compare it to Dollywood. It's located on an amazing dairy farm that produces milk for 8,000,000 people. HOLY COW! See what you think.

Sun 5 July
Happy Cinco de Julio! Sorry we're a day late for the BIG holiday, but we really enjoyed it. First we sat home for most of the day. Then we decided to go for ice cream. We found a deserted Baskin & Robbins and livened up the joint for a while. By then it was getting dark, so we drove toward high ground to see if any fireworks shows were visible. That's where we got in a huge traffic jam of folks leaving the fireworks show. So we drove home and watched them on TV. They were wonderful.

David went to his first audition last Friday. He and Jane answered the call for seniors who have health insurance and want to get paid $750 each to be in a commercial for Scan Insurance. We sat together at a picnic table in a little park and chatted informally with the photographer about why we like our insurance. That seemed odd. Then he said that if we are selected we must agree to attend a one-hour sales presentation by Scan Insurance. That seemed even odder. Could they also be selling timeshares? We're pretty sure we just got punked.

Yesterday afternoon it was 99˚ in Northridge. That's not news. But at that same moment, it was 59˚ in Santa Monica. That's 21 miles from here... less than that if you're a seagull. When people say they love the Southern California climate, how many do you suppose are talking about the San Fernando Valley? Oh, and if you decide to jump in the ocean at Santa Monica, how fast do you suppose you can get back on the beach?

Our friend, Billie Begg, source of much good internet fun, sent this video about a sweet little 89-year-old lady who still drives the Ford she bought back in the '60s. Take a few minutes and watch it. You'll love it.

Fri 10 July
Commercial auditions continue to be scarce. But Jane's enthusiastic young theatrical agents are shaking the trees and knocking down some movie and TV roles. Yesterday she auditioned for a full-length film. Today she went for a bit part on The Sarah Silverman Show. She had just passed up one of their earlier scripts that was entirely too naughty for our demure Granny. The Silverman show seeks a much younger and WAY less fussy audience than us old f... ah, folks.

Afterward, since there's no fast way home from Santa Monica at 5:30 on a beautiful Friday evening, we drove along the coast toward Malibu on the PCH. Of course it was packed with surfers and other happy sun-seekers. Once, for just an instant, we hit 30mph and we both cheered. At Topanga Canyon Road we turned north, twisting our way upward on the narrow road and admiring the greenery that somehow manages to cling to the dry canyon walls.

As we finally crested the pass, we gazed down into the broad Valley and then stared in amazement as our outside air temp display soared from the low 70s into the low 90s within a quarter-mile. We were home.

Mon 13 July
Another day, another movie audition... but this time with an important twist. The woman in charge taught Jane in a class last year, and she laughed and reminded Jane about the hilarious changes she made to the assigned script back then. It's nice to be remembered. We hope that's a good omen.

We also got another great video from David's choir buddy, Ed, about a radio-controlled model airplane flying in a typical high school gymnasium. This amazing battery-powered plane performs magic, including flying backward. Take a look.

Fri 17 July
Another fun video arrived today from Billie Begg. It shows Einstein, the African gray parrot, who seems to have a bigger vocabulary than either of us. What a guy!

Puts us in mind of our trip to Key West years ago when we arrived at our bed and breakfast inn and nobody was home. We found some shady lawn chairs and settled in to wait. Ten minutes later we finally heard a woman's cheery "Hello!"

"We're in the back yard," we yelled. Again she called "Hello!" and again we answered back. This continued. Finally we noticed the upstairs screened porch and... the friendly parrot.

Sat 18 July
"It's even worse than the slutwear... It's all just ugly!

David looked up from his computer and noticed that Jane was back from shopping at the mall. She has a cute way of speaking bluntly, especially when she couldn't find any of the clothing she wanted. Today it was JC Pennéy and Sears and it was hot and she was starving – always a losing strategy. But David had the AC running and a pizza ready. And we are surrounded by malls. And tomorrow is another day.

We bet y'all didn't know that it's legal to keep chickens in your back yard in almost every city in America. That's what David learned while Jane was clawing through the clothing racks. If you'll go to TheCityChicken.com you can check your local laws, learn about nesting boxes, chicken tractors, egg production and the many advantages of keeping a half-dozen yard birds to entertain you and the kiddies. We may broach the subject to our landlords this evening after supper at El Pollo Loco.

Wed 22 July
The auditions dribble in, but job offers are scarce. To ease our boredom and shame, we are learning to walk out our door at sunset, jump into "our" pool and paddle gently about as we watch doves, hummingbirds and others perch for a few peaceful moments before they snuggle into their nightly roosts. Of course we are careful to do this only when our landlords are gone. We must protect them from the shock of watching two portly geezers in swimsuits do any fancy pageant walkin' across their patio.

Here's another viral YouTube classic from David's cousin Nancy – an exciting a cappella setting of the 1980's hit tune, Africa. Turn up the sound – better yet, put on the headphones – and enjoy an African thunderstorm followed by a solid performance using NO instruments other than the voices.

Fri 24 July
Last night we drove out to Glendale to babysit Kate and Dylan, Andrew and Heidi's kids and our let's-pretend grandkids. Jane usually goes alone, but baby Dylan is so beefy now that she called in David for back-up.

Dylan was fussy when we arrived, but when he spotted us, especially David, he burst into full scream. Andrew handed us their list of Dylan techniques, wished us well and crept out the back door, hoping not to boost the decibels.

Jane's usual magic with kids of all ages was powerless over howling boy, and who can blame him? It was hot, his mom and dad were gone, and two gray weirdos were lurking about, even as 6-year-old sister Kate, who had hoped to go with her parents, was sniffling quietly in the living room.

Dylan's shrieking continued for the better part of an hour.

Finally Kate, exasperated with our total lack of expertise, came to the rescue. With Jane rocking the screaming Dylan, Kate got in his face and began to sing. "Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream," she crooned in a clear, sweet voice. "Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily," the high notes were in perfect pitch, the rhythmic pulse was flawless, and Dylan was fascinated. "Life is but a dream..."

Silence.

Now we all burst into song with Kate hugging and patting and caressing Dylan as she sang. Dylan was entranced. Dylan was hugging back. And Dylan was quiet. Several choruses later he began to yawn, so Jane and Kate took him to his bed and sang him to sleep. Not another sound...

David made a phone call, a large pizza arrived and we all did our part. Kate ate four slices in her own special way – scrape off the topping and eat the crust. All that singing created quite an appetite. We did OK, too. It was way past our usual suppertime.

A round of Chinese checkers, Heidi and Andrew returned, and we headed for the hacienda, tired but happy. So if ever you need a great babysitter... call Kate.

And now our link of the day. Some of you know Dave Ross, long-time radio host on Seattle's KIRO-AM. His shows are eclectic, wide-ranging, thoughtful and wise, and this 30-minute interview with Deepak Chopra on Life After Death is a Dave Ross classic. When you have the time, we know you will enjoy it. And your mind will love the exercise.

Mon 27 July
Laurie and Maggie, our daughter and granddaughter, are in China and evidently running their legs off because we are still waiting for our Skype call they promised. But we can see what they see through the wonderful photos Laurie has posted on her blog.

We can hardly wait for a full report from the photographer.

Tue 28 July
Retired [unemployed] persons often cultivate an unhealthy interest in the LazyBoy, the TV and the computer, thus gaining them access to the unexpected... new ideas and new friends who arrive in odd encounters they would have missed back in their years of gainful employment. Hold onto that thought...

Yesterday we mentioned Laurie and Maggie and China. We often mention son Mark and his stone work artistry. This morning we met a new friend in that random online way, and her blog comments really made us smile:

"I know that other parents understand when I say that it's really, really reassuring to see one of your children do something big, grand and generous. Not just because it's obviously good to do something big, grand and generous, but because parenting is such a total crap shoot. It's not like there's any sort of guarantees out there about how kids will turn out. There are some very bad people out there who had some great parents (and the other way around) and good parents know that all you do when you parent well is increase the chance that the person you're making will be good. It's like a soufflé or something. You can really know what you're doing and the thing could still totally suck for no other reason that it's a Tuesday and the moon is full and somewhere the wind blew a little bit funny over the whiskers of an old rat with a limp."

Who is this person? How did we meet her? Random... like everyone we meet. She writes a blog on knitting, an area of absolute ignorance to us both. But another guy introduced her as one who has suffered internet harassment. When you've have a bad day and feel the world is against you, read Stephanie's blog entry for July 25.

Finally, Jane is out on a shoot today. She has threatened harm to David if he tells why. So of course he obeys. It's not porn. That's all we can say.

Late breaking news: Many of you missed the Sarah Palin farewell speech. Here it is on YouTube. You're welcome.

Wed 29 July
Some of us can remember when broadcast news was brief and full of facts, opinions were considered poor journalism, reporters were proven veterans with some gray hair around the temples, and it was unthinkable to stretch the truth, much less lie (we called it propaganda back then) to shape public opinion. News was a public service, and stations broadcast it commercial-free to fulfill their promises about responsible use of the public airwaves.

We listened, discussed events and formed opinions – we sort of figured that was our job. There was little news about movie stars, and none at all about cute kittens up a tree. Names like Agronsky, Kalb, Huntley and Brinkley stick in my mind... and Cronkite of course.

But TV execs studied the Nielsen ratings and decided that a little show biz couldn't hurt. Shoot, it might even sell more soap. That decision cost Walter Cronkite his job, and it launched the American broadcast media down this toll road with no exits.

Today we get to choose between watching four minutes of facts sprinkled over 26 minutes of fluff amid flashing graphics and crawling factoids (best case), or go with screaming, sobbing, lying, "pundits" who spew venom and read partisan talking points with faux sincerity (how can it get worse?)

Folks, this info-tainment is a pathetic imitation of what was once a legitimate Free Press. Remember broadcast journalism? If you search, you can still find it on PBS – The News Hour with Jim Lehrer as well as Bill Moyers' Journal – and also on the BBC (if you have cable). Of course these are terribly boring because they are full of facts, opinions are considered poor journalism, reporters are proven veterans with some gray hair around the temples, and it is unthinkable to stretch the truth, much less lie (we still call it propaganda) to shape public opinion.

Thu 30 July
It's widely known among our friends, especially those who have stayed with us overnight, that Jane snores a bit. But there's also a darker secret that may explain her dramatic talent. She sometimes acts out her scary dreams – screaming, thrashing about, attacking David, or occasionally leaping clear out of bed. [Check with David for details before planning any slumber parties.]

Then today we "stumbled upon" video proof of this behavior. Well, not video of Jane exactly, but note how this adorable blonde demonstrates the same malady, clearly illustrating the serious nature of the problem.

On to August >>>

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