1. At lunch time, sit
in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over
the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone
asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your trash can
on your desk and label it "In."
5. Put decaf in the
coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to Espresso.
6. In the memo field
of all your checks, write "For Smuggling Diamonds"...
7. Finish all your sentences
with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
8. Dont use any punctuation
9. As often as possible,
skip rather than walk.
10. Order "Diet Water" whenever you go out to
eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify that your drive-through order Is
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area
and play tropical sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you
can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your co-workers address you by your
wrestling name, Rock Bottom.
17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream
"I Won!, I Won!"
18. When leaving the Zoo, start running towards
the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!!"
19. Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the
economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
20. And the final way to keep a healthy level
of insanity.......Share this with someone to make them smile. It’s called therapy.