English sign in German cafe: "Mothers, Please Wash Your
Hans Before Eating."
On a scientist's door: "Gone Fission."
Outside a hotel: "Help! We need inn-experienced people."
On a music teacher's door: "Out Chopin."
On the door of a music library: "Bach in a minuet."
At a farmer's field: "The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free,
but the bull charges."
In a podiatrist's window: "Time wounds all heels."
At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you send in your bill.
However, if you don't, you will be."
On a front door: "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog."
Non-smoking area: "If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and
take appropriate action."
On Maternity Room door: "Push, Push, Push"
Sign on fence: "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."
Muffler shop: "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming."
Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
Optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come
to the right place."